Shows allot of effort and animation tallent. Did you animated it all yourself. That's allot of hard work.
Though your script to me feel a little uneventful. I feel that if you were to make an intro episode, we should at least know more and start to care about these characters. 15 minutes longer would enabled that. It felt allot like "flash cards" to me. this is her, this is him, okay let's move on.
Also, I don't quite understand the 'lore' of this world. That could've been expressed a bit more. Though I suppose you wish for people to read your web comic.
Granted it is the first episode. Let's see how it develops. The your framing could use 'some' fine tuning. I would suggest using Flash in combination with 'after-effects' or perhaps in combination with 3D as you show in your demo reel.
To get people to really care, you need to WOW them. And I mean really WOW them.
I'm not an animator nor a writer. I'm merely an audience with honesty.
But good luck in your future projects.